By this I mean, take FULL responsibility for the life you want to live. All disappointment starts with expectations. The expectations live in your head. You are expecting somebody else to guess what is in your tortured brain! You are expecting them to do what you would do. They never, or very seldom do.
The same for assumptions. When you assume that somebody is going to do something, you give your personal power away. Now, your happiness is dependent on them delivering your assumption or expectation. This is the root cause of a great deal of unhappiness.
When your expectations and assumptions are not met, then you start to complain. Complaining is the most useless use of your voice. It achieves nothing. It keeps you stuck in the pain of your expectation. Its also awful for other people to have to listen to it.
So, assess - to what degree do you complain? Give it a percentage.
How much of your life is wasted doing this?
When you complain enough it shifts you into a state of frustration. By the time you reach this stage, you have given away almost all of your power. In the end, frustration drives you to giving up. Here, you are 100% in victim mode.
Imagine a life with zero complaints.
Heaven.
So how do you get out of this victim state? Simply by taking full responsibility of what you want, and asking for it. When you ask for what you want, you move yourself out of expectation and assumption. You move yourself into a position of personal power.
The strange thing is that when you start asking for what you want, you will usually get it, and wonder why you haven’t done this before.
You cannot necessarily take responsibility for external events, but you can always take repsonsibility for your reaction to external events.
Th emere asking for what you want, put you into a powerful energetic position.
If you don’t get what you want, then you only have three options available to you. Love it. Change it. Leave it.
Take responsibility for everything that you create.
You even have to take responsibility for how others treat you. Yes!Who are you being that they treat you like that?
When this really lands in your mind, it is life-changing. You can actually have alife with no complaints, with peace and joy. Try it. Its fun!
Coaching questions:
Where in my life am I still expecting others to meet unspoken needs—and how much of my energy is drained by the disappointment that follows?
What do I complain about most, and what am I avoiding taking responsibility for by keeping that complaint alive?
If I fully owned my power to ask, choose, change, or leave, what part of my life would immediately become simpler and more peaceful?